Tuesday, March 10, 2009

To Do or Not To Do??

So I mentioned the other day (Monday) that I was going to stop by the feed store on my way home from MOPS and inquire about the seasonal position they are looking to fill. I wimped out when I was driving past and didn't stop in. I've been thinking about it all Sunday, yesterday, and today.

Where is the line between
"Going to work because you should but you don't want to"
"Going to work because you need to so you will"


Anybody? *tap*tap* Is this thing on??
(Sorry, I totally stole that one from Pioneer Woman. Don't look at me!)

A. I'd (we'd) love the extra money.
B. We're in a position where extra money would be nice - even a good thing.
C. We don't NEED the extra money.
D. We're not in dire straights.
E. I just cannot get "pumped" about going to work. I worked there before - it's not totally horrible, awful, can't stand it ever again.
F. I would much, much rather stay at home and cook rice and beans and be happy than go to work and cook rice and beans and an occasional hot-dog and be unhappy.
G. But if there ain't moo-lah to buy the rice and beans then I wouldn't be able to stay home and cook rice and beans and be happy.
H. But right now there is moo-lah to buy rice and beans (and I can stay home and cook...)
I. I just had my 3rd piece of Ghirardelli chocolate for the day.
J. I discovered mouse poo in the utensil drawer this morning. And in the stove drawer this afternoon.
K. "I" & "J" aren't related to the topic at hand. Well, "I" could be.
L. It doesn't take much livin' on love, and there ain't much comin' in right now... so since it don't take much, we can make it, right? (I know, bad english. I hope no english gurus are reading this.)
M. Maybe this is just another mountain to climb, another stream to ford? Random fact thrown in here: This was our wedding recessional, only on the piano and a little more jubilant than this version :) I still think it made an awesome wedding recessional, esp. when you consider the text and that you're starting a new life - dream - together!!
N. I'm running out of pros and cons right now. I might come back later and add some more if I think of more.


Liz said... [Reply to comment]

Well, I say if you can stay home do it! If you take a job (even part-time) it's easy to become dependent on that money and hard to quit later. (And I'm jealous cause I would love to stay home!!)

Anyway, I want to pass on the Sisterhood Award to you. Check it out over on my blog!

Elizabeth said... [Reply to comment]

I wish I would have worked before I had kids...

Now that I have kids, I wish I didn't have to!

I don't have an answer for you but I know you'll find the right one :) Besides, if you're miserable there, you don't NEED the money so you don't HAVE to stay!

Sally said... [Reply to comment]

Well, I may not be much help. I don't have to "crunch the numbers" and make all the accounts stay in the black. After reading your blog post, my thought is "stay home". That's where you're happy, that's what you can do, and the more you get done and get under control before you have kids, that's all the more you'll be glad you did before you had them.

Here are a few verses that may or may not be helpful.
"That everyone may eat and drink, and FIND SATISFACTION IN ALL HIS TOIL--this is the gift of God." (Eccl. 3:13)
"So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than TO ENJOY HIS WORK, because that is his lot." (Eccl. 3:22)
And of course, we all know Titus 2:5 that says the young women are to be "busy at home".

So, where am I going with this? Has it ever occurred to you that living in the center of God's will for you will most likely be where you are the happiest and most at rest (peace)? Not to say that God can't give you peace and happiness working, if that is His will for you, but as I have made decisions in my life, I have very soon been able to tell I made the right one because I have been at peace, happy, and just KNEW I was doing what He wanted. If I was contemplating doing something and it wasn't God's will, I was disturbed greatly until I came around to realizing it wasn't what I was to do. (I'm not talking about contemplating sin, I'm talking about this-or-that issues, not right-or-wrong issues.)

So, folks may get the idea I think all women need to sit at home and darn socks. No, I didn't. I enjoyed my work as a nurse before Paul was born, and I wouldn't change a thing about that if I had it to do all over again. Also, just read about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. She certainly was active in the business and work world.

Lucy said... [Reply to comment]

Don't know what to tell you, girlie. Hmmm....I'll think on it.

Aliisa said... [Reply to comment]

From Aliisa:

I can only tell you my experience, you have to figure out what is right for you and how your husband feels about it. I was able to stay at home before I had my daughter. I loved it. But then I had to go to work and it was ok, I enjoyed the job (I taught computer science) but I hated the fact that the laundry was always in a basket and my house was never as clean as I would like and that led to feelings of guilt and just being unhappy that I couldnt do it all. I felt like a failure. I worked until my daughter was 3. When I made the choice to quit and be a stay at home mom, it was the greatest thing I have ever done. I love being at home, I have never regretted staying home. And even though things get tight and I sometimes think, I should go back to work so that we can be more comfortable, my husband always looks at me and says....yes but what is more money if you arent happy. And he is right.

My thought is that you already know the answer to this. The fact that you "wimped" out means that you know you will be happier staying home and that is really what you want to do. I believe that as long as you dont have to have the 2nd income to survive, then you are ok to stay home. If it got to the point where you had to have the money then you would do as we all do at times in our lives and you would do what you have to do....go back to work. As long and you and Daniel both agree, then follow your heart and I think we all know (including you) that your heart is at home. If the time comes that you have to go back to work, you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt and you will just do it.

So dont second guess yourself.

Karen said... [Reply to comment]

Miriam, sweetheart, are you pregnant?

Just a tease...I always seemed to "go 'round in circles" early in my pregnancies. And of course, there was lots of chocolate involved!

There is a reason you drove on without stopping. Just consider that for a moment. Remember, we are ALWAYS exactly where God wants us to be. Seems to me that He is pleased with you taking care of home and Daniel, and intends to keep you right there.

Be still.

Love from Missouri,

Meghan said... [Reply to comment]

Hey Miriam,

You've received a lot of wise advice. My two cents are, if you are able to work without a whole lot of disruption in your life then I (me, Meghan) would. I absolutely hated going back to work after my baby was born. My thinking is to pay down debt or pad my savings account so when my babies do come I will have peace of mind in that respect. The economy is so scary right now. On the flip side, I am all about making myself happy. I worked up until Kurt and I were married and they always ask if I still work in town. He tells them he figures it is worth a lot more when I can put my daughter on the bus in the morning and be home in the afternoon for her. I agree. I am happy being a work-at-home mom now and my husband is very happy.

You will be fine. Talk to your husband and it will all work out.