The Noisiest 5 Minutes

...begin the moment I walk into the bathroom and close the door.  Yes, I have started requiring privacy for my bathroom trips.  Most of the time.  I have even started locking the door because Susannah would stand on the other side, and no matter HOW many times I would repeat "leave the door closed" she would inch it open.  I would reach over and close it.  She would inch it open.  I would reach over and push it shut.  I mean, you can't DO anything in peace while all that's going on.

This morning was no exception.  I walk in, shut and lock the door, and sit down to a few moments of all-by-myself-time, which is treasured even if it is while going to the bathroom.  No sooner had I sat down when this loud clang, bang, wang, clatter, clang!! starts up RIGHT outside the door.  Susannah had come to serenade me with a metal baking sheet, banging it on the floor. Niiiiiice.

Then I hear Sylvia cruise up, and stuff being dug out of the hall closet (which does not have a door). 

I am still occupied and unable to do more than attempt verbal direction, which is obviously falling on deaf ears.  THEN I hear light-bulbs clunking on the floor!  Great.  Somebody has dug out the box of spare lightbulbs. How soon will it be till Sylvia decides to chew on one, or bang one on the floor and it shatters into shards?

I hear plastic bags rattling as if Sylvia is probably climbing up into the closet, or dragging stuff out as fast as her rotor-tiller hands can dig.

More verbal instruction falls on deaf ears.

A line from "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" (with Kevin Costner) comes to mind:
"I can't DO this with all that RACKET!!" 

But, being a mom requires the ability to do amazing things, including taking care of business in the midst of a full-blown circus.

I finished what I needed to do, opened the door and restored order.  They moved away from the bathroom doorway and closet and resumed playing elsewhere, because, of course, I was not in the bathroom hoping to snag a brief moment of sanity anymore.

I tell myself they'll only be this little once. :)